How to live when everything is not the way you want? Why is everything not the way you want? Why is there something wrong in life?

I’m 40 years old and everything in my life didn’t turn out exactly the way I wanted, I feel like in an ancient Greek tragedy, in it the hero always wants one thing and the result is the opposite, my family considers me a failure, a defective product, crazy, I feel that way myself , my only child today said that it’s my own fault that my life is not what I want, what can I do about the fact that these are the circumstances, it’s as if I always wanted the best, but it turned out worse than ever. I want everything to be somehow different, but I don’t see a way out, there are no prerequisites. I just don’t want to live anymore, I feel that all my attempts to change something are fruitless. and then what, poverty, complete uselessness to anyone and a cheap coffin. this is all
Support the site:

Alexandra, age: 40 / 01/13/2013

Responses:

Alexandra, write what went wrong, why you call yourself that. Other people are fine, God will be their judge, but why are you spreading rot on yourself? As if there are people in the world who succeed in everything as they planned. Well, that's all. And always. Wizards are simple. They rule the whole world... Come on, some kind of nonsense... If you yourself, Alexandra, know that you wanted something, did everything in your power - and this something did not happen due to circumstances beyond your control - why are you scolding yourself? You are not omnipotent, you are not the Lord God. You can’t scold yourself for the way the world works, where we depend on a lot of different things...

Nelly, age: ** / 01/14/2013

You know, Alexandra, I don’t like to be a hypocrite and I don’t want to look like that blind man who leads the blind. It's clear from the letter that you
in despair, but we must not be afraid to somehow admit mistakes, we are all not saints. You know, the mistake of me and those around me is often that we spend our energy in the wrong places. Well, look, you are doing soul-searching, maybe there are problems in the past, but there is no need to pick an abscess, we live now and do something now. Happiness is it not in oboak, but often next to us.
Strength must be spent on spiritual life, not only on material life, there will be peace in the soul and it will become easier in the family, at work and man
a good one will appear. We are men looking for a positive, cheerful woman, so don’t be upset, do something little by little

Mikhail, age: 27 / 01/14/2013

Sasha, are you sure that most people’s lives turn out exactly the way they would like? But they don’t want to die.
You still haven’t explained why exactly life isn’t turning out the way you wanted. After all, you can try to change some things in life. Your life is in your hands. For example, my life, my personal life, also didn’t work out for a long time. But I didn’t give up and looked for my destiny, mainly through the Internet, because in my opinion it’s convenient. It took me about 6 years to search, but ultimately I found my destiny there. Do you know how many times I wanted to give up and stopped believing that I would have a family, but I didn’t give up and got what I wanted. As they say, the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Don't give up, knock!

Oksana, age: 32 / 01/14/2013

Yes, it hurts and you want to die, but since you asked the question to the Universe, then be patient and you will receive an answer. I asked a question to the Higher Powers about my purpose in life. I considered myself a complete failure, just like you. For two years I asked for an answer, I was very worried and tormented. And they gave me the answer. It turned out that I was very successful in fulfilling my purpose, although socially...there were failures. Now I am happy and calm, and material things will follow. I can’t write everything, but the topic is very interesting. Put a specific question to the Higher Powers and get ready to receive an answer. Good luck.

Tala, age: 40 / 01/14/2013

40 years is a great age to start a new life from scratch! Change profession, city, occupation. Buck up, darling, and go for it!

Agnia Lvovna, age: 72 / 01/14/2013

Alexandra, I apologize, maybe my story is inappropriate, it’s up to you to decide whether to read it or not. The important thing I want to advise you is in the last paragraph.

I had terrible depression, I prayed for death, everything was disgusting, there was no support, no one understood, I hated life, everything didn’t work out the way I wanted, “friends” mocked me, judged me. I went to a psychologist - 0 progress, I ran out of money for a psychologist, thank God. Because his treatment method pushed me more towards suicide - he taught me forgiveness and fought my aggression. The decision came by chance. I was in a theater once, and a thought flashed through me that I heard and knew, but this time it was as clear as ever: “All life is a Game.” I put on a mask, chose for myself the Role that I needed: a self-confident, self-sufficient person, unshakable and able to defend himself with words.” In response to all the attacks from friends and relatives that they say I have everything6 in one place, I also “hit” them in the most painful places - angry and rude, but why don’t they think that it hurts me, it hurts terribly, yes, I’m weak, Well, is this a reason to drive me crazy? You can judge. But this is my life and territory!!
There were hysterical breakdowns, the thought was to give up everything, I was sick, that I remained a failure. I performed rituals that I read on websites, threw away all old things, photographs, closed the door to my old life - I understood perfectly well that I was sick, but this is my medicine and it helped me.
In my new life: “I am confident, I can do everything, I am my own Master,” this is how I positioned myself in front of everyone. I have never judged myself for my mistakes and mistakes, I need to learn this, because it is an internal reflex - block it, block this depressing self-criticism.
I began to study the language, communicate with foreigners who study Russian, of all ages and genders, thereby improving my language skills. My social circle has changed, there are fewer acquaintances, but they were like my Mask, I fed energy from them!! None of them ever condemned me, all criticism was objective, I am grateful to them for that!! They, as it turned out, also cry, and sometimes engage in self-flagellation, not everything is as wonderful as it seems, it’s like that for everyone, YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO PAINLESSLY perceive reality.

It was terribly difficult for me, terrible pain, mental pain - probably the worst in this world, you can’t get rid of it by drinking painkillers, it’s like “walking barefoot on hot coals.” I did everything through force and to spite everyone.
I can’t say that I’m very happy now, but this is not the state of fear, horror and hopelessness.
I’m trying to change my own consciousness, to direct everything towards the positive - it doesn’t work, Maybe you can do it!! ??
I CAN ONLY TELL YOU THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS I learned in my lesson:
Who gave them the right to JUDGE YOU? On what basis are they putting you on trial? Have they been in your shoes, have they lived your life, have they experienced your pain? Do they have a fire burning in their chests and consuming pain? This is what only “pathetic little people” do, who amuse their pride at the expense of your failures. Wouldn’t you lend a helping hand to a fallen person? or will you pass by shouting Loser?
Believe me, Suicide is an extra reason to prove that you are truly a Loser, you cannot arrange your life and the best way to give up everything and leave. Why do you need such a stigma? Most people don’t have the life they dream about, unfortunately this is how it turns out...
Alexandra, I believe, I believe madly in you, you are the only one, the way you are, you have to fight through “I don’t want”, sometimes this is a very difficult path!! But when you get through it, it’s really a victory over yourself, over your fears: the most difficult thing that can happen in life. And you, of course, can, we can do EVERYTHING, absolutely everything!!! This is a challenge, it is given only to the strong, you just don’t know about this potential in you.
I understand that everything is difficult, I still don’t have it the way I want, there is no warmth, comfort, family - but I’m struggling, I don’t believe in myself and that it will happen (my faith died a long time ago), BUT I make every effort to defy fate and everything!!!

With all my heart I wish you success and overcome this temporary illness!!

Alex, age: 35 / 01/14/2013

What kind of pessimism though! Tail with a pistol! When we came into this world, no one promised that it would be easy and fun. In the end, everything that does not kill us makes us stronger. There is no need to frantically look for a way out of a seemingly hopeless situation; try to be inactive and go with the flow, looking closely at the circumstances and hoping for the best - and everything will eventually return to normal. A person should not seek harmony with the outside world, because the world, by and large, does not care about him, he must find harmony with himself - and then the world will not seem so hostile to him. Live your life without proving anything to anyone, you know everything you need about yourself, but what do people think about you and your life - what difference does it make to you, you can’t please people, especially relatives - after all, we are connected with them by karmic ties, and As a rule, we are given to each other for a reason - either as a reward or as punishment for the purpose of education. In general, take a simpler approach to life, there’s not much of it left for a human lifetime, so why complicate everything if the end is determined to be a “coffin”, as you say, and whether it’s cheap or expensive, won’t it matter to us?

Not every person can say that he lives the way he wants, has found what he was looking for, and his life fully corresponds to his dreams. Often the gap between desired and actual is so great that it can lead a person to despair and deprive him of the desire to live further. In this article we will figure out how to live when everything is not the way you want, how to find the strength to move on and not give up.

It all depends on your perception

There is a wonderful theory that a person’s problems do not come from real circumstances, but from his attitude towards them. In fact, in most cases, we ourselves determine what is good and bad for us, and this may absolutely not correspond to the real state of affairs.

If we realize that the size of our problem usually depends on our perception, then life will become much easier. After all, someone can spoil the mood of an entire team at work due to the morning traffic jam, and someone can smile when they find walls painted by a child in a newly renovated apartment. Remember: if you turn failure into tragedy, its size increases accordingly. Well, complaints, tears, hysterics and nerves will definitely not change anything!

You can find happiness every day in the simplest things and enjoy life. Or you can spend your existence on eternal reasoning like “Now, if I had it ...”, “When I can earn so much, then ...”, etc. And if you don’t and you don’t earn? .. You no one will give you a chance to live life again, use every moment to see it as a reason for joy. Let every pleasant little thing become the reason for your good mood for the whole day, and every failure is perceived as an inevitability that has already happened. Of course, you should learn from mistakes, but you should not consider them as a harsh reality that prevents you from living on.

Decide on your desires

Many people ask the question: “How to live when everything is not the way you want?” Do they know exactly what they want? Write down your desires on a piece of paper, starting with the most cherished and ending with everyday little things. Each of them requires a separate analysis, so give it enough time to understand what you lack for its implementation and what you do daily to achieve it.

Very often, many are surprised to find that they do not contribute to the realization of their desires. But, you see, it's stupid to wait for a fairy with a magic wand that will do it for you. Of course, who doesn't want to wake up as a millionaire in bed with their loved one, afford to buy whatever their heart desires, and enjoy a carefree life on the ocean?

Well, for example, the dream is unlikely to come true so quickly, but living on some picturesque island is quite real. Not enough money? Make money. How? Just like others who, in your opinion, are absolutely happy. Lead by example and follow your goals. A purposeless existence is a slow death. And remember: the stronger the desire, the more likely it is that it will come true.

Who is guilty?

Very often, we tend to blame the whole world, but not ourselves, for the fact that we do not live the way we want. As a rule, these are reflections in the spirit of “I was born in the wrong country,” “I should have lived in a different era,” “Not fate,” etc. We have to disappoint you: a time machine has not yet been invented. So it is not given to any of us to be born again in another place and at another time. But we have the power to build our lives according to our own scenario.

Believe me, the fact that you cannot live the way you want is not the fault of the country, the state, politicians, society or your loved ones. Of course, in specific issues, all this can act as a kind of obstacle to your actions. But as for life in general - never! The problem of the absence of the desired reality lies only in the person himself. And the sooner he understands this, the easier it will be for him to get rid of her.

What should I do?

Remember that a complete loss of interest in life, which you do not want or cannot fight, often leads to long-term depression. And it’s much more difficult to get out of this state than to try to find the meaning of life right now. If it is difficult for you to do this on your own, you should seek help from a psychologist: very often we are not able to identify the causes of difficult mental states ourselves. A specialist will help you reconsider this life position and come to harmony between desires and reality.

Do not forget that a person always creates his own happiness. As the famous saying goes: “If you want to be happy, be happy!”

In truth, what we talk about happens to us. And sometimes we talk a lot, and without thinking at all about the meaning of what was said. There are many smart books and different rules on how, when and what to talk about.

But these are the rules... They are boring and we follow them only sometimes - when it is very important for us to follow them. The situations for applying these rules are different, but they stress us out quite a lot. And therefore, in everyday life we easily deviate from these rules.

It seems to us that we are simply living at this time. Just talking with a friend or girlfriend, just throwing out emotions, just talking about nothing. And sometimes we also know how to simply “show off” or simply “play to the public.”

And all this time, it turns out, we are putting together our own lives. From carelessly thrown words, from fragments of negativity or denial of the obvious. And we also build it, life, from sincere joy, from smiles and warm glances... But now we are not talking about them. Now we are talking about the words with which we cover our lives, turning it from a beautiful holiday carpet into tattered patchwork quilt.

From the most recent dialogues

“The kind of men I need simply don’t exist. They don’t exist! They haven’t been born yet.”--- This woman has been alone for a long time. She wants to get married, but the chances of starting a new family are equal... you yourself understand what they are equal to.

“Oh, now such women have gone. What kind of relationship can you have with them? They are predators and only want to take, or rather, snatch. That’s why I only focus on sex with them. And only with those who do not behave like predators.”--- This is said by a man who has had a lot of trouble with predators and is now licking his emotional wounds with casual sex. Can you imagine how “lucky” his women will be?

“What are you talking about! What kind of money do I have?! To have money, you have to become a criminal. But all I want is some kind of roof over my head and a little food. I don’t want anything else.”--- Of course, this man is no stranger to guile. In fact, deep down, he dreams of status and a new car, and he dreams of an apartment in a prestigious area at night. But this is how things work out for him - he survives on petty earnings and continues to “become poor.”

“Clients? Oh, of course, I have them. But they are such misers that you won’t get any income. I’m tired of throwing pearls in front of them. You spread yourself out on the floor in front of them, and they, the bastards, take money away from your competitors.”--- These are the revelations of one business woman who dreams of big profits in her business and hates her clients. Comments also suggest themselves.

But there are even more terrible sayings...
“May your children not give you bread in your old age!”--- This phrase, said by a mother to her 10-year-old son, once simply shocked me. When I began to explain to her that her words were tantamount to cursing her own child, the lady was perplexed. Unfortunately, the words came back to the mother - the son grew up, left for another country and the mother was forgotten.

Be careful with your words. Everything you say can become part of your life without you noticing.

Want to test yourself? Try to record your conversation (preferably more than one) when you talk about how you are doing or about your plans, or evaluate what is happening. Listen to it after recording and write down what definitions you give, what mood you have in the conversation. You will be able to learn a lot about yourself after this exercise and about the reasons for the events in your life.

The situation is not as sad as it might seem. To change it, it is enough to replace the wording with positive ones, watch your words and maintain a positive attitude. This is very easy to do if you start changing your life in the company of a friend or girlfriend. You can help each other by watching the wording and giving the agreed upon signs.

In your own words, paint a beautiful picture of your own life. May she please you and give you happiness!

That's why it happens that some achieve something, while others fail? Why do some people do what they like, while others constantly complain about life and want to change it? Why do some manage to change their lives, while others only dream about it? Why why why?

Everything is very simple. People from the first category simply allow themselves to do it! No matter how incredible it may sound, you just need to allow yourself to live the way you want, do what you like, communicate with those with whom you are interested, live where you dream and much more.

For what reason can people not afford to live like this?

Probably because of the surrounding society, which formed a certain opinion about life in their brain and created a fictional framework. And then people begin to believe in everything, they believe in what different media say, they believe strangers who don’t even know the essence of the matter, but at the same time they claim that this is bad, don’t do it, but I heard it, etc. Such people do not want to think for themselves, they do not try to raise their butts to check for themselves. This is where the excuses come from why people don’t change themselves and their lives.

Remember how as a child you played various games, came up with your own rules for them and at the same time changed them during the game, this is your game. Taking something round, you said: “This is the steering wheel from my car, sit down, let’s go for a ride.” As children, everyone dreamed and came up with something, but then society gradually began to influence. From childhood we were taught what we could do and what we couldn’t do, but they rarely explained it; even our parents couldn’t always explain why we couldn’t do this, otherwise we could.

Then you go to school. There, again, teachers do not like those who stand out and to whom other children are drawn, because it becomes more difficult to manage the class. And children are drawn out because this child allows himself to do what you are afraid of. He thinks differently, he was also forbidden to do something, but at the same time he does it anyway, because the answer “it can’t be said, it means it can’t” is not enough for him.

At school they start telling you about education, university, profession and your future life. They say that in order to enter a university you need to study. Why go to university? So that you can find a good job later. Why a good job? So that you have something to live on. But this cannot always be called life, rather, existence.

Hooray! School is behind us, university is ahead and a new adult life begins. Everything seems to be simpler here, they give you the right to choose - whichever specialty you want, go for that one. But then it turns out that the person is not prepared for this specialty, and he enrolls where he can, and not where he wants. And now you are already studying at university for a prestigious specialty, you have already come to terms with this and are thinking about where you will go to work and where you can develop and climb the career ladder.

Some people, already in their 3rd or 4th year, begin to have thoughts about whether I need what I’m doing, whether I’ve chosen the right faculty, or if I was drawn to something else. And again, society, reassuring, says, “What are you talking about, you have a good profession, you’ll finish your studies, and everything will be great for you.” Some people believe these fairy tales, while others immediately begin to do something to change. They drop out of university and open their own business, then a new one, etc. search and try themselves. And society responds with “oh, he dropped out of university and won’t be able to achieve anything, he’s a black sheep, what does he think?” and everyone sadly nods their head, agreeing and saying “yes, yes.” But in their hearts they understand that they are ready to break after this person, try something new and find themselves.

Hooray! You have graduated from university, what to do next? It is not always possible to work in a profession, because people face employment problems. Of course, the more cunning, intelligent and assertive ones find work and get settled. And the rest do not work according to their profession, because an adult and independent life has begun, you need to earn money for a living.

The question is, why did you study for 5 years for one profession, but are working in another?

Society tells you that if you do not have a prestigious job, you will be an outcast, a loser, and no one wants to be one. Therefore, people get a job on an ad, where they promise career growth and various benefits. But only a few achieve this, and most work in the same position until retirement, and this suits them. If they don’t like it, then they only whine, saying “oh, how bad and poor I am, my life didn’t work out” and at the same time they do nothing. Although everyone can change their life, not everyone allows themselves to do so.

At the moment of going through everything listed above, a person finds himself very constrained. He has a lot of frames and prohibitions in his head, four walls in which he exists and is afraid to leave this comfortable zone. Society said it was bad and impossible, society said it was not prestigious and not fashionable, and you, in response, sadly nod your head, agreeing, and say “well, yeah.”

And only a few people think, who is this society to me? Who creates all these laws of fashion and rules of decency, who limits me? Anything within the law is possible!

Why doesn't society allow us to live differently?

Probably, those who sadly nod and completely agree, saying “yes”, are easier to manipulate and control. Remember, like in kindergarten and school, one person stands out and is drawn to him, and then it becomes difficult to command a group or class. It's the same in adult life. That’s why conditions and rules are dictated to us. They dictate to us what things to wear, where and what to buy, etc.

People, without thinking about why this is so, stupidly follow these rules, because from childhood they were taught not to ask questions, but to obediently follow everything.

Only a few can cut all the wires and free themselves from this cycle.

Probably everyone is thinking about how to change their life, but only a very small percentage actually does something about it, because they are afraid to leave their comfort zone and step out of the box.

What do you think about this?

Reading time: 6 minutes.

Have you ever thought about why in life sometimes things don’t work out the way you want? That you set some goals, plans, schedules, but it just doesn’t work out. Something breaks down, there is no state for something or the mood is not suitable. Random non-coincidences await us at every step. And they really are not random. If everything is going wrong in your life, then there is definitely a reason for it! It is useless to argue about this; it is better to try to understand why everything is like this?

Sooner or later, the mosaic will come together anyway, and the truth will be revealed to you, which you should have understood at the very beginning and because of which you were unable to implement your plans. But so far it is unclear. And to clarify the situation, start by understanding that your desires and the desires of the Universe for you do not always coincide. And misunderstandings begin because we are accustomed to keeping life within the strict framework of “shoulds,” maneuvering its flow between the icebergs of familiar concepts, operating only with the knowledge of our own mind, and this cuts off a lot of opportunities and insights from us. Alas, our knowledge will never be perfect. Life is incomprehensible! And what Her Majesty Fate has prepared for us cannot be known in advance. However, we cannot hide from it anywhere, no matter how much we try to control all kinds of life manifestations.

So, let's try to understand the reasons for what is happening.

Why is everything wrong? Possible reasons

If something in your life is not working out the way you want, think about whether this is what is required of you at the moment. I'm talking about this moment, here and now. Perhaps by understanding something, doing something, changing something in this moment, you will break through the wall that prevents you from moving on. But this is something you need to understand and definitely do! Don't look into the distance, take a closer look at yourself today. Your success depends on the choices you make now. Be attentive to yourself and to the signs of the Universe, this is the key to the door to a happy future. And even if it is difficult to understand the reasons in the present, do not worry - the mosaic will certainly come together, and the answers will come.

The main thing is to remember that when there is harmony within you, it will not be slow to manifest itself in your whole life.

Post Views: 739